i have too much pain for my own good

sometimes i only feel i have a heart cause of my sister. the little bitch stole my heart. i hate feeling powerless.

the balance on earth: people have to die so people can be born. the show must go on.

im just really wondering right now why the fuck i signed up for this fucking course. really, it sounds interesting and stuff, but i'm just not at the right mood to get into something new right now. actually, im trying to get off some shit i got my self troubled about and now im just putting up more weight to carry around. im really sad that i dont see a reasonable chance to get back into the circus and thats kind of depressing. plus college is coming back on monday i dont know what to do with myself (jokes and white stripes apart). oh well, that was just a way to put somethings out, cause really, im dyeing inside and i have no idea of what to do

bibibibubububub blabla

Yes, The River Knows
Please believe me The river told me
Very softly
Want you to hold me, ooo

Free fall flow, river flow
On and on it goes
Breath under water 'till the end
Free fall flow, river flow
On and on it goes
Breath under water 'till the end

Yes, the river knows
Please believe me
If you don't need me
I'm going, but
I need a little time
I promised I would drown myself in mysticated wine

Please believe me
The river told me
Very softly
Want you to hold me, ooo

I'm going, but I need a little time
I promised I would drown myself in mysticated wine

Free fall flow, river flow
On and on it goes
Breath under water 'till the end

Free fall flow, river flow
On and on it goes
Breath under water 'till the end

medo... insegurança... o novo assusta. traz todas as desconfianças, as dúvidas. criam-se todos os universos possíveis e visitáveis por um wormwhole. traz a gravidade de pensamentos. traz a física a falar de sentimentos. de olhos fechados, a gente pula num buraco, esperando que ele não seja negro.

it's the kind of thing i'll get myself wondering forever: why do i always feel like i got to help everyone and make everyone feel ok? it's like i'm always worried and sometimes in the wrong way. like now, i just simply care, nothing else, but showing that i care can lead to totally different things than what i actually feel............ good night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnXFJOXvL_A GPOY pra sempre

Would you erase me?

I feel like tangerine. Here comes the overdose:

I'm not.

tem dias que a gente só quer deitar na cama e chorar

Sometimes I need you more than I can even understand. Sometimes I miss you so much that it makes me go running to meet you. Sometimes it seems like you're the only one who notices me, that sees me when I'm invisible. There's something about you that sometimes makes me want you so that I'd never let you go away. Not that you feel tha same, but sometimes I feel like this about you.. but just sometimes.

"I'm weird 'cause i hate goodbyes"

Acho que já disse milhares de "tchaus":
o que estamos acostumados a dizer;
o primeiro pra uma pessoa que a gente acabou de conhecer;
o que a gente repete várias vezes porque sempre aparece algo para dizer depois;
o que a gente repete várias vezes porque a pessoa não entendeu que a gente que ir;
o que vem sempre acompanhado de um "eu te amo";
o que queria vir acompanhado de um "eu te amo";
o que a gente tá louco pra dizer porque realmente quer ir embora;
o que a gente demora o máximo pra dizer porque não quer ir embora;
o que a gente diz sabendo que vai dizer isso de novo para a mesma pessoa;
o que a gente diz sem saber se é o último que vai dizer para aquela pessoa;
o que a gente não queria que tivesse sido o último;
o que a gente sabe que vai demorar pra dizer de novo para a pessoa, mas sabe que vai dizer;
o que a gente dá pra um semi-conhecido/desconhecido;
o que a gente dá pra uma pessoa que nos conhece muito bem;
o que vem com um abraço muito bom;
o que vem com um abraço e um empurrão;
o que parte nosso coração ao dizer;
o que vem com lágrimas;
entre outros..

e no final, eu descobri que ainda não sei me despedir.

i wish i could open my heart as book, so everyone could understand what i feel. but i know, at the same time, that there's no words to what i feel,so, in that way the book would have to be with only images. but i'm not sure if those would pretty and easy to understand images. and i know nobody would want to read it, so i just keep it as locked up as cheast that the very owner doesn't know where he left the key.

It's hard to sit back and watch your life pass by, while everyone is enjoying it and replacing you. It hurts the most that I have this bunch of feeling that I can't share 'cause I'm just not able to do it, and 'cause I know people would think I'm stupid :/

memories are the only things we can hold on to. but memories can be so comforting and so destructive at the same time. and then we think new memories are going to make us forget the old ones, but they don't. we keep reminiscing for ever

eu vi no tumblr "you were so fucking great" e pensei:

you were so fucking great.. WE were so fucking great.
I don't get it. I don't get why we can't be fucking great again

sometimes i wonder if i disappeared people would notice it

i kind of think they won't

some things are simply worthless but you rather pretend they're not - that's called hope- so you can feel ok for a little bit, but when reality hits you, it hits hard and harder than you thought. it hurts

you're not mine, you'll never be. and i'm sorry for that, it's all i can be

i need you to find out the best part of me, 'cause i'm starting to think i don't have a good one anymore :/